Alison is seriously pissed off and needs cheering up

I started to write about why, but it was terribly boring. However, as a taster, the least part of my woes is that my broadband connection isn't working at present. So, instead:

• Alison is a mystic in the great tradition of Sufism.
  
• Alison is a true ground breaker, opening up whole new vistas for an instrument once solely associated with pickin' 'n' grinnin'.
  
• Alison is designed to work with Microsoft Internet Explorer version 4.0 or higher.
  
• Alison is discovered by the paparazzi!
  
• Alison is actively looking for new restaurant spaces, and she hopes to reopen within the next year.
  
• Alison is one of very few specialist mandolin players.
  
• Alison is on the phone.
  
• Alison is the second housemate to leave.
  
• Alison is a renowned International inspirational speaker.
  
• Alison is tipped to achieve outstanding success.
  
• Alison is allergic to chocolate and ate her last Mars Bar in
  1980.
  
• Alison is available to offer advice on her areas of expertise when requested.
  
• Alison is described as young and wild.
  
• Alison is passionate about teaching people to live more fulfilled, balanced lives.
  
• Alison is a mature player who will be counted on to provide solid play in the middle position.
  
• Alison is living proof that you can't judge a book by its cover!
  
• Alison is a very sweet kitty with a strong maternal streak.
  
• Alison is currently the youngest member of the Grand Ole Opry.
  
• Alison is dog-sitting Tony while her auntie is away.

Alison is seriously pissed off and needs cheering up

I started to write about why, but it was terribly boring. However, as a taster, the least part of my woes is that my broadband connection isn't working at present. So, instead:

• Alison is a mystic in the great tradition of Sufism.
  
• Alison is a true ground breaker, opening up whole new vistas for an instrument once solely associated with pickin' 'n' grinnin'.
  
• Alison is designed to work with Microsoft Internet Explorer version 4.0 or higher.
  
• Alison is discovered by the paparazzi!
  
• Alison is actively looking for new restaurant spaces, and she hopes to reopen within the next year.
  
• Alison is one of very few specialist mandolin players.
  
• Alison is on the phone.
  
• Alison is the second housemate to leave.
  
• Alison is a renowned International inspirational speaker.
  
• Alison is tipped to achieve outstanding success.
  
• Alison is allergic to chocolate and ate her last Mars Bar in
  1980.
  
• Alison is available to offer advice on her areas of expertise when requested.
  
• Alison is described as young and wild.
  
• Alison is passionate about teaching people to live more fulfilled, balanced lives.
  
• Alison is a mature player who will be counted on to provide solid play in the middle position.
  
• Alison is living proof that you can't judge a book by its cover!
  
• Alison is a very sweet kitty with a strong maternal streak.
  
• Alison is currently the youngest member of the Grand Ole Opry.
  
• Alison is dog-sitting Tony while her auntie is away.