Naked Power Grab

[bohemiancoast]

I suddenly realised that I didn't need to wait for Supreme Dictator drplokta to appoint me Minion in charge of Mandating Apple Computers. I'm just going to get on and legislate.

Effective immediately, you have to Stop Buying PCs with Windows on them. Unless it's emulated. Buy Apples. Yes, this means you. There's a good range. Pick one.

If you've already got a Windows computer, you can carry on using it until it collapses under the weight of spyware, viruses etc. (probably about Thursday week). But when you replace it, get an Apple.

Yes, you're allowed to run Linux on your new computer. As long as it's an Apple.

OK, off you go. Run along. Just think, this is pretty minor stuff; imagine if we were to live in the sort of place that mandated ID cards and house arrest instead of merely what computer you could use.

Watch out for tomorrow's edition "Yes, we're going to tell you what MP3 player to buy too. Damn right."

Comments

[ajshepherd.livejournal.com]

you're allowed to run Linux on your new computer. As long as it's an Apple.

Good lord NO! Why ruin a perfectly good Apple by running Linux on it? That's what Intel boxes are for!

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Buy Apples.

I have half a dozen of them that I bought just yesterday. Nice, tart, Granny Smiths.

[whotheheckami.livejournal.com]

I'm a Braeburn man myself - does drplokta have a Minion i/c Apples yet?

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

I like russets.

And Pink Ladies. (But you knew that.)

[whotheheckami.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I find the texture of Pink Ladies to be a bit frivolous

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

I like frivolous pink ladies.

(And apples.)

[ailsaek.livejournal.com]

Heh. We're an Apple house already. Heck, this particular icon's name is even "Apple".

[sbisson.livejournal.com]

Except that Apple don't do tablets.

Best laptop format evah.

[bohemiancoast.livejournal.com]

You'll have to make do with a Newton.

[smofbabe.livejournal.com]

The only desktop computers I've ever had in my households have been Apples. I am slowly trying to train the rest of the world to end the MS dictatorship by refusing to read ZIP files, and asking for all MS Word .doc files to be distributed to lists as universal-format PDF files. One baby step at a time...

[drplokta]

When both Solaris and OS X come with programs to read ZIP files, I don't think one can really consider it an MS-centric format any more.

[smofbabe.livejournal.com]

I'll be damned, you're right. Just tried the zip file and my Mac opened it right up! Good Macintosh...

[armb.livejournal.com]

And UnZip is also available for AmigaOS, BeOS, QNX, VMS, and many others.

[damienw]

Argh! Yes! I keep getting sent .doc and .xls files for *plain text things that the person could type or paste*.
I won't be doing anything with the info except, you know, reading it. Argh.

[drplokta]

Hmmph! I suppose I'd better regularise the situation and appoint you as Minion i/c Mandating Apple Computers...

[bohemiancoast.livejournal.com]

right on.

Extra rations of vodka and chocolate for all!

[whumpdotcom.livejournal.com]

My shadowy corporate masters will be pleased.

Re: Extra rations of vodka and chocolate for all!

[bohemiancoast.livejournal.com]

Ooh good. Offers of employment welcome.

[andrewducker]

Surely if your mandate covers Apple PCs it doesn't cover me?

[bohemiancoast.livejournal.com]

No, my mandate is mandating Apple computers. They're now compulsory. Doesn't apply to you unless you're buying a new computer.

[andrewducker]

How about if I'm buying new computer parts?

[bohemiancoast.livejournal.com]

grey zone. I think there's an issue of intent here. If you're trying to evade the law, that would clearly be wrong.

So I think replacing a broken part would be ok, but substantially upgrading would be Flouting The Law.

You are in any case not allowed to upgrade the operating system, because selling new copies of the Windows OS is clearly banned.

I wonder if I should issue a Green Paper on the use of computer parts?

[bohemiancoast.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, and building a PC out of legal parts is illegal in exactly the same way as distilling moonshine in your cellar would be.

[andrewducker]

I suspect so. Laws based on intent have a history of not working at all.

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Does buying a second-hand iBook as my next laptop meet the new legislation, with an indefinite hold on the replacement of everything else bit?

[bohemiancoast.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, I should think so. In fact, we approve. Second-hand Apples are a very good choice for people who are tempted to buy a Windows PC on the grounds that they're cheaper.

[dougs.livejournal.com]

> Yes, you're allowed to run Linux on your new computer. As long as it's an Apple.

The reason why we run Linux is to free ourselves from being stuck with a single vendor (traditionally, a single software vendor -- but I don't see why I should saddle myself with a state-ordained monopoly of hardware vendor instead).

So when are Apple going to produce something with the processing power of a Cray? or the I/O bandwidth of a mainframe?

Or the price of a 486 lifted out of a skip?

[whotheheckami.livejournal.com]

>>price of a 486 lifted out of a skip

Have you been skip-diving again - do tell ;@)